Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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