I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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