Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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