The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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