The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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