you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
