We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize