I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i will never coherently bang her
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
