there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just invented taco cereal.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
