You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize