He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
