So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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