i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
