he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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