I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
