You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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