Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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