did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
