At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Randomize