Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm both gender and math confused
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
