your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
