Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
