i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
