im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Randomize
