Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
