my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize