Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
