dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
