So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
