exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize