Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
