Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
where am i from again
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
