hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
