Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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