listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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