Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
