mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
