walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
