This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
