I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
