dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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