When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
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