i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize