Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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