I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
