Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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