i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
this will be a night to untag.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
