Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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