Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
