there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
