After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
