walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
