i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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