shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize