Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Randomize