Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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