well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Girls should come with a carfax report
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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