u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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