Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
