my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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