I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
