I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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