I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
