My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
