oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
