Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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