Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
